The WORST date ever.. no joke...

So Friday night marked the worst date I've ever had.

No joke friends.

So I met Christopher at my work.. he's having some legal issues with his house (forclosure) and even though he's not my type.. he seems like a nice dude. Nate (my boss) invites him out with us for Saturday night.

Chris and I talked on the phone a few times and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy minus he's a bit slow. I guess smoking pot for 9 years will do that to you. I notice he gets stressed out easily.. I guess quitting smoking pot after 9 years 2 months ago will do that to you.

So Friday comes along and Geo decides to go to the Skynard show so I decide to go have a few drinks with Nate. He's already chilling in Little Italy. Chris and I talk and he wants to come out with us so I agree and he picks me up.

First off.. the dude takes longer to get ready than I do. Like wayyy longer. I'm ready and he comes like 2 hours after we make the plans and he's jumping in the shower. I don't understand what took the boy so long. He doesn't even like shave!

So he's late and we are heading to Little Italy. Second, the only music in his car is along the Breaking Benjamin type. Again.. not a good sign. Conversation in the car is ok but it seems he's maybe nervous or something. So we finally make it to Lounge Leo. Things go ok at first. He's asking stupid questions but hey.. some people don't know how to have a good conversation. We start drinking and from the start he's ordering massive drinks. Like every five minutes a shot. I'm cool with that.. I can handle my liquor. As the night progresses I'm not really into him. Nate and I are talking and he starts talking to this dude in the bar. It seems the conversation is a bit heated but I ignore it. He comes around like 15 minutes late and is talking about "wanting to beat that dudes ass" and blah blah blah. Typical guy shit. I again.. ignore it and just have myself a good time. He starts dancing with another girl at the bar and is flirting with the bartender... not a very good sign when you're on a date. He's actually pretty fucking wasted and I'm just waiting for him to calm down and sober up a bit.I even tell the bartendress to start serving him fake drinks so he can't get anymore drunk.He was SUPPOSED to be my ride home but since he cares nothing for my safety I decide Nate will drive me home or I'll get a cab.

Fast forward.. I'm trying to convince him to go to his truck and lay down but he pulls away from me and heads to the bathroom. Fast forward a bit more I go to check on him and he's laying between the toilet and the wall on the floor. The guy that was in there with him tells me he just started puking everywhere on the floor and he's basically incoherent. GREAT. Way to impress a woman eh. I see he's covered in puke. I try convincing him to sit up so he can drink some water but he's so drunk he keeps sliding back down. He starts dry heaving again and I hold his head over the toilet by grabbing his hoodie. After he stops I tell the guy to get some dudes so we can drag him in the car so he can sleep or atleast puke somewhere else so the people waiting to use the ONLY BATHROOM IN THE BAR can pee. I'm informed by the bartendress that he was short on hsi tab which ends up getting paid by Nate. These men try carrying him to his car but he refused to even use his legs so we throw him on the couch downstairs and he sleeps for a good 3 hours.

So now I'm completely embarassed and I have puke on me. Not to mention any buzz I achieved is now gone. The people in the bar find out he's my date and we just start making fun of him and the situation. I guess now I should just start laughing about the situation. I have his keys and if he's not sober by the time the bar closes he'll have to pick em out via cab to my house.. it's a good ways away too.

So there you go. I go out with a 25 yearold clean cut boy and this is what I end up with.

Now keep wondering why I've been single for over a year and a half.